Smaller Ball. Is Don Nelson Jewish? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. The crafty Warriors' coach introduced a small-ball starting line-up for the ages (B-Diddy, Monta, J-Rich, Jax and Al Harrington at center) and ran the Suns into the ground. Like, big time. The Warriors jumped out to an 18-6 start three minutes into the game, had 32 points by the six minute mark, and finished the first quarter up 45-33. That's hot. Jason Richardson scored a season-high 36 points and hit a franchise-record eight 3-pointers. Golden State now moves within one game of the Clips for the Western Conference's final playoff spot. Can you feel the drama?
Kick 'Em When They're Down. Captain Kirk Hinrich hit two of his three free-throw attempts with 2.8 seconds left to give the Bulls an 83-81 victory over the Pistons Thursday night. The Bulls, who somehow managed to blow a 12-point fourth quarter lead, held on to clinch their third straight playoff appearance. Not that they can be too happy about the win. Detroit played without the services of two of their starters -- Rip Hamilton and Chris Webber -- who missed the game because of infectious diseases. Drink that OJ, boys. Ben Gordon led the way with 25 points. Mystery Man. Despite 43 points and 17 rebounds from Zach Randolph, the Grizzle beat the Just Blazers 96-92 thanks to about ten thousand free-throws. Memphis rookie Tarence Kinsey led the way with 20 points. Good. Now who in the hell is this guy!?!? And oh, before the game, Portland promoted Kevin Pritchard to its vacant general manager job.
The Big 6-0. Congratulations to the Dallas Mavericks Basketball Club who notched their 60th win with a 105-103 win over the Bucks. It's the third time in the past five seasons that the Mavs have hit 60. The next one will set the franchise record. Dirk Nowitzki left the game early in the second half with a tweaked ankle, but it's nothing too serious. He was seen playing Dance, Dance Revolution after the game. Jason Terry had 27 points for the Mavs.
Happy Birthday, Coach. The Jazz didn't know what to get Jerry Sloan for his 65th birthday, so they pooled their money together and got him a Northwest Division title. ($89, Wal-mart.) Carlos Boozer had 25 and 11 rebounds and Mehmet Okur added 23 and 12 in the 108-102 win over the Wolves. Minnesota remains four games behind the Clips, who lost to the Rockets by 5, for the final playoff spot in the West. Jockeying for Positions. Chris Bosh became Toronto's career leader in double-doubles with 13 points and 17 rebounds in a 96-83 victory that moved the Raps ahead of the Heat for third place in the Eastern Conference standings. If the season ended today -- I love that saying -- Toronto would play Miami with home court advantage. (And I would be in attendance!) Meanwhile, in Washington, the Wizards also jumped the Heat in the standings with a 111-108 win over the Sixers. Caron Butler scored 21 points in his return from a knee injury. DeShawn Stevenson added a season-high 28.
Boxscore Bonanza. Gerald Wallace: 31 points, nine rebounds, four steals and four blocks. Josh Smith: 25 points, 15 rebounds and six blocks. There's no point in telling you the final score of this game, because the real winner was Shoals.
While you install that three-story walk-in pantry ...
Coach LeBron. After kicking coach Mike Brown out of a team meeting Tuesday morning, LeBron James had 26 points, seven rebounds and six assists as his Cavs beat the Pacers 105-94 to clinch a playoff berth. I'm not sure what Coach LeBron said to fire up his team -- "Free bikes if we win!" -- but boy, did it sure work. The Cavs shot 52 percent from the field, outrebounded the Pacers 43-33 and made eight more shots from the line.
This is Why They Play the Games. God, I hate that saying. Rookie Tarence Kinsey -- um, excuse me? -- scored a season high 24 points to lead the lowly Grizzle to a shocking 88-86 victory over the Lakers. Kobe Bryant, who I heard had done some scoring over the last little while, shot 7-of-26 and scored only 23 points. Please don't try and make sense of this.
The NOOCH Haven't Partied Since 1999. Josh Howard had 25 points and 10 rebounds as the Mavericks beat New Orleans/OKC 105-89 for its 21st straight victory over the Hornets. Get this: the Hornets haven't beaten the Mavs since the Y2K bug threatened to turn my coffee maker against me. It's the longest losing streak for one team against an opponent in all four major leagues (NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB).
He must've been attacked by a Grizzly bear as a child ...
He's Still on Fire. Kobe Bryant became the fourth player in NBA history to score at least 50 points in three straight games, dropping a cool 60 in the Lakers' 121-119 win over the Grizzlies. You have now read or heard that sentence 47 times this morning. Bryant joins some guys named Elgin Baylor, Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain -- never heard of 'em -- as the only players to accomplish the 50-50-50 string. For more Kobe talk this fine Friday morning, I suggest you click here, here and here. Enjoy the links.
Tipsy McTiperson. I would try and explain the final 15 seconds of this game to you, but honestly, I don't think my keyboard could handle it. All you need to know is that rookie Tyrus Thomas tipped home the game winner with two-tenths of a second left to give the Bulls a 109-108 victory over the visiting Nuggets. Nice play by the kid. Now someone teach him how to celebrate without looking like he's sending a runner from third home. A Team in Motion. Yao Ming jump tippy-toe hooked his way to 27 points and grabbed 7 rebounds as the Rockets held off the Pistons 91-85 in the ... um ... what's the name of the arena the Rockets play in again? Anybody? Houston has won five straight games and eight of 10 since Yao returned from a broken leg. Welcome to the 30-20 Club, Sir. Amare Stoudemire bounced back from his abysmal four-point, two-rebound performance against the Wolves on Wednesday to the tune of 33 points and 21 rebounds in the Suns 118-100 win over the Kings last night. Ron Artest missed the game thanks to court hearings and thunderstorms. I hate it when then happens.
Quickly, before that "other" basketball starts up ...
There's No 'I' in Dallas Maver'cks. LeBron James scored the Cavaliers' first 11 points in the fourth quarter, had 17 of their 24 in the period, and finished with 31, six rebounds, four assists, two steals and three blocks, but ... it really didn't matter. Dallas 98, Cleveland 90. I mean, Sasha Pavlovic can only do so much, you know? (16 points.) For the Mavs, Dirk scored 23 points on a pretty rough shooting night (9-for-24), but he got plenty of help from his backcourt teammates, Jason Terry and Devin Harris, who chipped in 21 and 17 points respectively. The Mavs have won four straight.
Send in the Tanks. Celtics coach Doc Rivers kept his starters on the bench while Boston blew an 18-point lead in a 92-84 loss to Charlotte last night. Sounds a little fishy, no? Doc doesn't think so: "I was not throwing the game, or anything like that," he said following the game. "Honestly, I got to the point early in the fourth quarter and I turned to the coaches and said to them, 'We are either going to win or lose with this group."' That, and I really, really want Oden or Durant, guys. Regardless whether the tank job was called in or not, Bill Simmons sure must have an extra pep to his step on his way to Starbucks this morning.
Moving Pictures Are Worth About A Hundred Words. First off, in Seattle, watch Arenas bank home a right-handed runner at the buzzer to give the Wizards a 108-106 victory over the Sonics. Gil finished with a non-predicted 42 on the night. Second, in Milwaukee, watch Jason Hart get a kind, kind bounce to drop with three seconds left to save the Clips the embarrassment of dropping a 22-point third quarter lead to the Bucks. The 104-103 win moves LA into the No. 8 spot in the Western Conference. Cheers to my homeboy, Brett, for the vids.
Highlighting the Most Powerful Men in the Universe ...
Herr-mann and Battle Cat. Little-used, yet awesome-looking, Walter Herrmann scored a career-high 19 points and Gerald Wallace had 27 and grabbed 11 rebounds as the Bobcats stunned the Cavs 108-100 to snap Cleveland's eight-game winning streak. LeBron scored 30 of his 37 points after halftime, but missed a runner in the lane with 10 seconds left in regulation and a 3-pointer at the buzzer to force more overtime. Question: Why does he always seem to settle for that deep, deep three in the clutch? Drive, man. Drop the Banner, Buy the Shirt. As The Association was quick to note this morning: "Start the parade, roll out the champagne, call in sick and most importantly ... DROP A BANNER!!! The Suns are Pacific Division Champs!!!!!!!!!" Yes, the Suns regrouped from two rough losses to clinch their third consecutive division crown with a 108-90 victory over Minnesota last night. Raja Bell scored 22 points and Leandro Barbosa -- starting in lace of Diaw to get things going -- added 20, but enough already. Stop what you're doing, and go buy your division title t-shirt! There flying off the virtual shelf! The Western Conference Keeps Getting Better and Better. Carmelo scored 12 of his 30 points in the fourth to lead the trailblazing Nuggets to their fifth straight victory with a 94-90 decision over the Nets. It marked the first time this season that Denver has won a game (1-21) when scoring less than 99 points. It also marked the first time this season that I could use that stat. Vincent Lamar missed a wide-open three that would have tied it with 12 seconds to go. My smile is extra wide today.
More False Promises. You already know the story, cuz you've heard it once before: Agent Zero predicts he'll drop 50 on the Blazers; Agent Zero doesn't come close to dropping 50 on the Blazers. (I don't care though, I still love it.) Gilbert Arenas scored 19 points and had 10 assists, but shot just 4-of-16 from the field in the Wizards 100-98 loss to the Blazers. I predict we'll hear much more about Arenas and his antics later today on the Haus. Just a hunch. Portland rookies, LaMarcus Aldridge and Brandon Roy, combined for 44 points and 20 boards in the win. Solid.
Each week I'll look at the players who would have the best shot at the league MVP award if the season ended today. Why? Because we're bound to disagree and fight each other with chain whips ...
1. Dirk Nowitzki, PF, Mavericks: Building Dirk's case for MVP: He's the best player on the best team in the league. Period. Exclamation mark. Ripping it down: Is he really any better than last year? And why does he keep getting lost in the clutch?
2. Steve Nash, PG, Suns: Building Nash's case for MVP: His unselfish style of play is infectious, entertaining and makes everyone around him better. His numbers have actually improved this year compared to his two previous MVP campaigns. The Suns stink without him. Ripping it down: Are we really ready to etch "Nash" alongside such names as Bird, Wilt and Russell? I mean, seriously, three in a row?
3. Kobe Bryant, SG, Lakers: Building Kobe's case for MVP: 52 points. He's by far the most talented player in the league (maybe on both ends of the court). 53 points. The Lakers would struggle to beat cardboard cutouts of the Grizzlies without him. 65 points. Ripping it down: LA is just a few games above .500. He's "led" his team to six and seven-game losing streaks in the past month and a half. The elbowing "incidents."
4. LeBron James, F, Cavaliers: Building LeBron's case for MVP: His post-All-Star numbers are downright scary. 32 points, 7 rebounds and 6 assists per game. He's led the Cavs to eight straight wins and the second best record in the conference. Ripping it down: He plays in the East. He played disinterested and on cruise control for the first half of the season. He suffers from some type of Nick Anderson-disease at the free-throw line.
5. Michael Redd, G, Bucks: I'm kidding, I'm kidding ... who cares?
On the cusp: Tracy McGrady, Tim Duncan and Gilbert Arenas.
Josh and Josh. The Hawks extended their home winning streak to five games with a 99-76 win over the Kings. Hair Man, Josh Childress, scored a career-high 25 points, while Air Man, Josh Smith, came up just one point shy of his first triple-dub of the season (9-12-10). As for your pathetically sad stat of the morning: Sacramento finished its season 4-11 in road games against the Eastern Conference. They really ought to try and trade for Chris Webber. I Believe In A Thing Called NOOCH. Just listen to the rhythm of my heart. Tyson Chandler scored 16 points and grabbed 11 rebounds -- yes, some of them even defensive ones -- as the Hornets blew out the Celtics 106-88. Young Paul added 15 points for the NOOCH, who now trail the Warriors by only 1 1/2 gamers for the eighth and final playoff spot. Paul Pierce scored 28 points, in three quarters, to lead the Golden Green.
The Exact Opposite of Cinderella. Yao Ming scored 24 points, Tracy McGrady added 21, and the rest of the Rockets scored a whole lot more as they crushed the 76ers, 124-74 in Philly. Yeah, that's a fitty-point blow-out, folks. It was the most points allowed in a game this season by the Sixers and the biggest home loss in franchise history. Even the Greek God duo, Tsakalidis and Spanoulis, scored six each off the Roxy bench.
In the Florida Region. Led by Hedo Turkoglu's 20 points, the Magic finally put an end to the real Madness, snapping the Heat's nine-game winning streak with a 97-83 victory. Orlando rookie J.J. Redick, apparently channeling his superstar college roots, reached double figures for only the seventh time this season, scoring 10. Young Thunder added 17 points (on 6-for-6 dunking) and 11 boards for the Sorcerers. Afternoon Delight. Suns beat Mavericks. Pistons beat Suns. Mavericks beat Pistons, 92-88. I believe that's called the Orange Roundie of Life. (TM!) Dirk scored 28 -- including an important late-game free-throw -- and Devin Harris added 22 to snap Detroit's five-game winning streak. Billups sat out the game with a tickle in his groin. Rip Hamilton, an 85 percent career free-throw shooter, finished 2-for-7 from the line. The end is near.
A quick look back at Thursday night in The Association ...
An Excellent Stress Reliever. One night after being slapped around by Shaq and his cronies, the Bulls grabbed the Magic and squeezed for an easy 100-76 win. Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich combined for 42 points, including seven bombs from behind the arc. However, this game was such a yawner that Tiger Woods -- a golfer! -- left his courtside seats at halftime never to return. And oh, yeah, I can't name names, but reputable sources tell me that four or five Magic players were seen reading the FireBrianHill.org website immediately following the game. I'm just saying... I've Got Ma-News For You ... He's pretty good. Manu Ginobili scored 31 points, including five 3-pointers, to continue the Spurs' "we're on fire" streak in a 100-93 win over the Artest-less Kings. Bili -- we should call him that -- dropped 16 in the fourth quarter, which he has been known to do recently. The Spurs have now won 11 straight. Kevin Martin had 26 points and 12 rebounds in the loss. Note: He's been fantastic on my fantasy team this year, and I wish him nothing but the best in life ... and a few more steals this week.
Still suffering from whiplash ...
Break out the bubbly ...
While you install that three-story walk-in pantry ...
He must've been attacked by a Grizzly bear as a child ...
Quickly, before that "other" basketball starts up ...
Highlighting the Most Powerful Men in the Universe ... 
Each week I'll look at the players who would have the best shot at the league MVP award if the season ended today. Why? Because we're bound to disagree and fight each other with chain whips ...
Damn you, lazy NBA schedule makers ... 
Hey, I remember this sport ... 
A quick look back at Thursday night in The Association ... 
